It’s 2AM right now and I’m thinking about you. I’m thinking about how much I don’t want to let go of you, how much I don’t want to let these memories fade away. I don’t want to forget you, to forget us, to forget the love we had.
I don’t want to forget the way you’d kiss both my cheeks before you kiss my lips, the way you’d hug me on the way down the escalator, the way you nibble on my cheeks, the way you’d never let me get out of the car and you’d always have to open the door for me. I don’t want to forget our goodnight routine, ‘goodnight, sleep tight don’t let the bed bugs bite, sweet dreams, sleep well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I miss you and I love you.’ I don’t want to forget the nicknames we had for each other, bb, sayangku, cintaku, sugar plum, cheeseball, my love, the way we had our first kiss behind the old block, the way I felt when you asked me to be your girlfriend and when you told me that it was the single most nerve-wrecking moment in your life. I don’t want to forget how it felt when I saw you again when you came home after so long. I never ever want to forget how it feels to love you, and to be loved in return.
I’ll miss everything about you, the good and the bad. Your love handles that you hate, but I love, your large hards, your hairy … everywhere (even ears), your pimply face because you never want to wash it, your thick caterpillar eyebrows, your beautiful eyes, and even your stubble that I really want to pluck out. I’ll miss it all.
You made love so easy for me, Azee, I’ll never forget that, the 8 months we spent apart from each other was worth every second and even if we don’t end up together in the future, I hope you know that a small part of me will always love you no matter what, because you will forever remain my first love.
People say this is puppy love but we know otherwise. This was pure, pure love, the truest of its kind. The kind that fills the cracks in your soul and makes you feel whole again; the kind when taken away, takes a huge a chunk of you as well. But this love we had was worth being vulnerable, worth all the pain and suffering, it was worth going through anything. And because I love you, Azee, I have to do what hurts me the most; let you go.
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